If I were to ask you who to describe who you are in just a few sentences or even a few words, could you? Do you have a clear idea of who you are?
Also, if you were to answer, would it be prefaced by I wish I was like this or I hope people see me this way.
I have to admit I have spent a good majority of my life not knowing how to answer those questions. I could maybe give you one word…shy. I was pretty wrapped up in that identity. I think many of you could relate. Maybe not shy but you could fill in the blank with your own adjectives. Many times it isn’t something positive but maybe if you have a clear idea it could be something you or the world sees as positive like, successful or a leader.
If you struggle with your identity I have another question for ya! Do you base it on your own feelings of yourself or what others would think of you? If yes then may I suggest you STOP IT! Feelings are not always trustworthy. The identity others give you can also be clouded by their own feelings of you, based on certain experiences they have had with you or what they have heard of you from others, but they don’t know the real you.
So, that brings me to my last question and the only one that really matters: Who are you in Christ? Are you looking to Jesus as your role model or someone else? Are you trying to keep up with The Joneses or with Jesus? Ok…that was more than one question but they all are basically the same question. Who are you striving to be like?
As I am finishing up this post International Women’s Day is almost over. Which is what got me on this whole identity train. I don’t understand many of the claims that women who run these marches and protests are fighting against/for. But then I have to remember they may not find their identity in Christ. When we try to search for our identity in people or things that are not full of trust and righteousness we become uncertain of who we are. It’s like grabbing at something with no substance or weight. It may hold us for awhile but then we are left trying to grab at anything on the way down until we hit the bottom. It can only hold you for so long, but God has a firm grip. He can carry the weight and he will not waiver. So, if we continue to try to grasp at all ideas of who we are through things, feelings or people that are not trustworthy, we can still feel empty and worthless.
I read something today on www.fiercemarriage.com about our identity in Christ that was so perfect for this post. Ryan Frederick was talking about comparison and our identity. He spoke about looking to Jesus for the answer…obviously…but also mentioned this little bit that I just love:
“…we must rely on his perfect righteousness for our ultimate worth, value and security. ”
I believe that is the core problem with many women today Christian or not. They feel worthless. They do not feel valued and they do not have security or they look for it in things or from others that can not give it to them.
I look to my husband for these things and he tries his hardest to provide these things for me, but ultimately he fails(sorry babe). I have to look to God to fill in where my husband can not. So, again when we look to Christ and find our identity in him we do not need the validation from others. We don’t need to keep up with others or feel bad that Jennifer is way better at meal prepping and making healthy meals…while your child has eaten 3 out of 5 days at the school cafeteria. Or maybe Emily has already done three different crafts with her 5 children this week….meanwhile you realize your only child is almost 8 and doesn’t really know how to tie his shoes(totally not talking about myself…just a good story line).
Comparison steals that joy right from you. You have been created by a loving father who has such great plans for you. Your identity is found in Him. Not who your mom wants you to be, or your bff or even your husband. If you feel less than or that you are not valued as a woman today on International Women’s Day or any day of the year…look to Jesus. Remember who you are is wrapped up in whose you are.