Every Mother’s Day I begin to see the commercials and blog posts flowing in, all reminding the husbands and sons, to not forget about getting a great gift for dear ol’ Mom. For years I dreaded Mother’s Day. Sad, right? I begin to have such high expectations of what the day would hold for me. I imagined being awaken by the smell of freshly made Belgian waffles with homemade whipped cream, strawberries and a light dusting of powdered sugar. It would be accompanied by my favorite hot tea in my favorite mug(or a new one). Then my son would bring me my favorite flowers…no red roses…preferably pink peonies (if you asked me last week it would have been pink roses)…or maybe even a cool succulent arrangement. As I admired my flowers so thoughtfully picked out I would then read my handmade card from my son, as my husband cleaned up the kitchen. Finally, my husband would bring me a gift, that he thought about months before, that had some special meaning, possible even got it from Etsy or some random site he had never been on before. Ahhhh yes….. expectations.
This is really going on in my mind! Fortunately, once I had that moment, that my husband, son or anyone else involved in my life are not in my head, that is when I realized I had been setting myself up for disappointment. Instead of waking up with great expectation, I have learned to wake up with joy in knowing that my family does love me…in their own way. Then and only then was I not left at the end of the day with great depression.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” -William Shakespeare
My love language is receiving/giving gifts. If that is your love language too you probably are right there with me on this whole idea of great expectation. Each year for Mother’s Day or my birthday I would put these selfish wants and desires onto someone else. I would make a mental note of everything that I wanted or wanted to happen days or weeks before. Ideas and things that no one would have any clue that I wanted, but I somehow wanted it to happen. I set those around me up for failure before the day began. My husband’s love language is NOT receiving or giving gifts, which I have talked about many times. He is the shop the night before or better yet morning of type of guy. For years I felt so unloved on special occasions. I didn’t understand why he would never plan anything or buy gifts early for me. I then realized he must have felt the same way. I would always buy super thoughtful gifts, with a special meaning behind them. He liked them but he would much rather spend the day with people. He would much rather cuddle all day watching a movie or have me show him some kind of affection. So, in essence, we were both wanting attention, Scott wanted physical and outwardly attention and I wanted thoughtful gestures.
Most of my friends and family do not have the gift of giving. In fact, many times I do not get anything from them…not even a card. That is rude but whatever…I know they do love me…they just aren’t very good at gift buying. It really is ok…we all can’t be fabulous! All joking aside I came to the conclusion that on Mother’s Day..my birthday or any event I am seeking some sort of attention. I need to be looking to my Father…my heavenly Father for that attention. He is the only one who is inside my crazy head and hears all my wants and desires and meets my expectations and guess what!!???!! He surpasses them! I believe the best thing to do is if we are feeling unloved or that our love tank is running low, just pray. I can’t tell you how many times I will have someone send me a card just when I need it or The Hubs will come home and make dinner. God will meet those expectations and give you far more than anything you could dream up in your head.
Happy Mother’s Day!