Remember that box I lived in? The one I talked about here. It was my safe place. Free from judgment and chatter. Few were allowed in and I rarely stepped outside of it. Inside of the walls I could hide. I had built up the walls so high by now, that few people tried to get in. The walls were too high…it just wasn’t worth it to try anymore. I thought it was safe in there, but in reality it was eating me alive. The walls were beginning to fall in on me and I was suffocating. I was looking for perfection inside of myself. It is really the main reason I stayed inside of the box. No one could see in and see the mess I had made. On the outside everything looked to be in order.
One day I decided to step out of that mess. I decided to expose what a wreck I was inside. I realized that perfection couldn’t be found in those walls of the box. I had once thought, if I just stayed still inside and didn’t let anything come in or out, that I could be in control. I could control what I said or heard. I could control who I saw and who I let in. There I could find perfection. Unfortunately, what I was left with was my own destructive… imperfect thoughts. What I was left with was nothing but an empty box. So, I took a box cutter to that box and laid it out flat. I am no longer able to get into that box I filled with lies about myself and others. I can no longer hide inside or behind the walls of that box. I have to be careful though. It can still be put back together and I can easily go back to it. I can quickly tape it all back together, step inside..curl up and close the top. But I can’t…I must crush it!
I have to find my safety now in the only One who is perfect. The only One who can hush the chatter of lies I believe. The only One who can set me free. It is a much happier place…outside the box. It is filled with hope. Sure, there are still fears that surround me, but outside of the box I can hear things clearer. I don’t have as much time to my own thoughts. I can hear God’s voice a little better. It was always there..but just a bit muffled in the box. I call it my chatterbox and that chatterbox needs to be crushed, so I can hear God’s voice. The voice that will be my safe place. That is all that I need. He will be my comfort and He will fill my heart and mind with His loving goodness.
This post is a little different from my others. It may be a bit heavy, but my heart has been heavy for a long time. God is doing great things in my life. He was always right next to that box I lived inside. Waiting. Thank you Lord for your patience! I was inspired by a book I am reading called, “Crash the Chatterbox”( I used the word crush and not crash, because I picture in my mind stepping on it and crushing it, making it useless). I can’t even tell you how I stumbled upon the book, but I know God wanted me to read it. It is exactly what I need right now. I can see He is right there beside me and many times He is carrying me when I need a lift and can’t handle it all on my own anymore. It is awesome to see God work presently. Many times we can look back on an event in our life and see how God was working. We didn’t see it though as it was happening. It was not until later that we can see what God was up to. This can be great… but, I love knowing that presently God is working on and with me. I tend to be a little more faithful and attentive to His voice. It should be this way all the time, but unfortunately it is not. There are so many more examples I can give of how Great God is to me. I pray that you will step outside of the box you may have built. It may have been built with fear, insecurities, sadness, loneliness or hate. Maybe a combination of all those “materials”. Just know that God sees you in there. He is sitting right next to that box. He is waiting to grab your hand and help you step outside and become who He made you to be. Finding healing in Christ will lead to wholeness in Him and will crush the chatterbox that wants to fill your heart and mind up with something other than Christ.
“Sometimes the danger of missing out is greater than the risk that comes with stepping out” -Steven Furtick
“You either kick fear out of your heart or it will keep you out of the places God has prepared for you”.-Steven Furtick
5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5