The Days of Summer is back! I have not posted since Thanksgiving and took a much needed break. During these past few months I have missed writing so much. I have always struggled with the business side of writing a blog, it is a lot of work to keep up, but I truly missed it! So, I am jumping back into my blogging and I am even going to dabble with making You Tube videos that correspond with my blog posts! Stay tuned…that should be all kinds of awkward!
Now, I didn’t completely stop writing. I still journal on my own, but even that happened very seldom. Some of the things I journal are not things I feel I can share. Like struggles with people in my life that I don’t need to put on blast. That could become more like diary entry and we already have Facebook for that, right? There has been so much God has been teaching me that I do want to share and so, I think I am ready to spend late nights editing my posts again.
This week I have really seen God working and I just had to share. Here is how my week has gone….
Well, it started with a Monday so, that is never good! And it started at 4:30am, which is doubly not good. Needless to say it was the Mondayest of Mondays that ever Mondayed.
I was up at 4:30 AM to see my husband off as he left for the next 7 days. He had just been gone for a week, was home for a week and now leaving again. I mean whose idea was this??? Needless to say…I was already feeling a little overwhelmed as I anticipated all I had to do on my own this week. He had suggested that since I was up I should start working. I normally start at 6am. This would give me some free time before I had to pick up our son later in the day from school. I could really use that time to clean the house, as it was a mess because Mother’s Day was the day before….and on Mother’s Day I strike and do not do ANYTHING. Only to be left with a big mess the next day. I start to login and remembered our IT department installed a new login system and it was not working…of course. I finally got in to my system at 10 after 6. No free time for me! I immediately started to prepare for my training session where I would have to train India to basically take my job from me. Love it! Once 9am rolled around it was time for training and I called in…and then quickly learned it was cancelled. I just spent 2 hours preparing and it was cancelled…
I went into full nervous breakdown mode. This isn’t anything to lose you mind about but for me it was my breaking point. I type out a long text to my husband, who previously text me and let me know that he would not have access to his phone, as he would be flying for the next 5 hours! How was I to complain if the one I needed to complain to was out of commission for 5 hours??? Oh, what’s that God…you are there? That’s right you are always there. I don’t have to wait for you to regain service…your line is always available. I cried out to God in that moment and was a bit embarrassed that I hadn’t done so until that point. But it was ok because he still saw me. He saw my needs and he gave me rest. I truly believe that my training was cancelled so I could calm my heart and brain. I hate training. I am not good at it and I do not enjoy it. So, the thought of having training two days back to back was a lot for me to handle. He knew.
So, you would think I would now realize that God has this. He is there with me this week even though my husband was not. It was going to be a great week now….not so much! I still have 6 days left on my own. I have a lot I can mess up in 6 days and I am already forgetting God is near. I did feel pretty good about myself as I found time to have my son do his homework. On Monday he had a baseball game so right after school he finished the page he had to do. Tuesday same thing. So, he now has his Monday and Tuesday homework done and turned in. Shane wakes up Wednesday not feeling well. He had not been himself since Monday so I say he can stay home. As the day goes on he stays in bed and watches movies. I decide to just relax and have a chill day. Then he attends school the next day and comes home. I go through his folder and see he did not receive a sticker for completing his homework. I am pretty sure his teacher thinks I am the worst. She is probably thinking he has a horrible home life, I mean who doesn’t make their kid do homework? They also probably give him gluten and GMOs!(Oh! by the way I thought this week was a good week to stop feeding my child gluten, dairy, yeast and eggs. He has some allergies, Dr. recommended an elimination diet, so yeah) After I calm myself down and vividly remember throwing the papers away thinking that he already tuned them in and all is good, I decide to go through the trash. The trash that I had just emptied the contents of my vacuum in and some moldy cuties. I see some papers in the bottom and nope, not it. Then I realize they must be in the trash bag I threw away outside earlier…but wait it’s Thursday and Thursdays are trash days. The homework is gone forever. I decide I need to write a “my dog ate my homework” type of note to my son’s teacher, but then realize it is Open House the next night. Perfect, but wait then all the other parents might hear my story. I better just stick with the note. I forget how to spell a few words, my penmanship is awful and I crumple it up. As, I go to get some more scratch paper I see some papers on the counter where I am writing. This will do…oh no….yep you guessed it…the homework pages. I never threw them away! There was no need for my trash digging session, although very humbling. So, now my letter was a little different explaining I had turned them in on the wrong day and asked for forgiveness and hoping she will give him his sticker. By the way…she wrote me back with a “No worrries” and a happy face over my note. She’s awesome and it really wasn’t anything to get worked up over.
I tried to make this post light hearted, but when I woke up on Monday and eventually had a nervous breakdown, I was far from light hearted. My heart was being weighed down by my fears of training, a huge fun and exciting event on Wednesday(that I can’t talk about but I promise I will soon) being rescheduled because I just had too much going on, 2 baseball games and one practice and my husband being gone again for a week. Putting all the funny aside I was reaching out for my husband to comfort me and he was not there. It took me awhile to get myself together and give it all to God. He was so ready and willing to take it on for me and he did. He provided me with sweet moments of rest. The phrase “Be still and know” came into my mind so often this week. I encourage you to read Psalms 46.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the LORD has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
As I read those verses there was so much power in them. In my bible notes it has a little blurp with directions for the choir director. Psalms is like a hymnal and can be sung as a hymn. In those notes it said it should be sung by a soprano. A soprano is the highest vocal range and usually takes the melody in a song. I suggest you read this out loud with your most powerful voice. It’s pretty awesome. Psalms 46:2 talks about not fearing earthquakes or mountains crumbling. My simple little worries don’t seem so bad when I think about mountains crumbling into the sea, but God still cares about the things I worry about, no matter how small, even the low moments of digging through the trash for something that was not there. He also is bigger than our biggest trial. God is our refuge and strength and that is what I have clung to this week.
Psalms 46:5 says this…”God dwells in that city; it can not be destroyed. From the very break of day, God will protect it”. This gives me so much comfort. At 4:30 am on that Monday he was already there…protecting me.
No matter what trial you are facing this week, know that God is already there and ready to give you those moments of rest if you ask him. The phrase or command “Be still” in Hebrew means to cause yourself to let go or let yourself become weak. So, this week of weakness I was trying to be strong and when I allowed myself to let go and let God that when things started to look up. Thankful I never have to do this life on my own.